What is happiness to you? A hug? A compliment that makes you feel proud? A successful diet? A new outfit? An accomplishment of an item on your To-do list? 

In a survey of a group of 18 leading psychological experts who focus on positive emotions and ultimately, happiness, their consensus of definitions might help you focus on how to start leaning into something that is longer lasting, independent of external, temporary events, and comes from within:

•  A sense of control and autonomy over one’s life.

•  A feeling of being guided by meaning.

•  A sense of Purpose about the future with a “can do” attitude.

•  An ability to connect with others.

According to neuroscientist Ian Robertson in his book How Confidence Works, “ A sense of control—this fatalism-destroying confidence that can influence your destiny—can be a psychological buffer against all sort of external pressures.” And he continues, “Confidence and happiness are interlinked, mutually reinforcing each other via the brain’s dopamine reward system. Happy confident people perform better in many areas, as well as being more motivated and resilient.” The definition of confidence he uses: “Confidence is the belief that you can do something, and that if you do it, something good can happen.”

Getting grounded in your brainstyle abilities gives you the platform for a confident definition of your gifts as well as a path to the future.

"[Happiness] is also being true to yourself and your values,” says Stella Grizont, who focuses on workplace wellbeing. She adds, “The more you notice how happy or how grateful you are, the more it grows.” Gratitude is a large factor in happiness, as it comes from and nurtures a feeling of abundance rather than lack. Robertson amplifies this with research about self-confidence that shows “Self-belief is a multiplier that mushrooms performance over time,” giving you more to be grateful for and confident in doing that becomes a “super-additive that multiplies cumulatively like compound interest over a lifetime”.

We know now that the reward center of the brain lights up with pleasure when buying exciting experiences or spending money on others. Many of the most reliable ways to increase happiness levels are free when done for their own sake, like meditating, practicing compassion or kindness with others. They also add a sense of control and autonomy to your life as they come from within and are not dependent on external sources.

When asked if Happiness is a choice, Tai Ben-Sbahar, co-founder of the online Happiness Studies Academy, says “Part of it is a choice, part is innate, and the part that is a choice is the choice to work hard at.” Genetic studies of identical twins conclude that positive affect is inherent. Those of us not blessed with such a gift need to follow his advice. Robertson reports that identical twins “with different confidence levels, will grow further and further apart in their achievements over time.”

Socializing with family outside the house and/or with friends was top of the list for activities to create personal happiness by the psychologists. Robertson reports that the “happiness index’ of Mexico is higher than that of the U.S. due directly to the intense socializing that is a cultural norm. Social relationships with close friends, romantic partners, and having a “general sense of respect and belonging in a community” is key to your personal wellbeing.

Self-talk, or that little voice in your head, is primary to developing confidence, happiness, or depression. Learning more about what your brainstyle hardwiring sets you up to be able to do as well as giving you a way to reframe your limitations can change what you say to yourself about your daily performance. And that can make all the difference.